The Dream17 Vending Machine

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Zeor
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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Zeor » Sat Oct 24, 2015 12:41 am

You receive a totally unwanted thread revival. Everybody groans. You side with them, but of course you're blamed for it, as the last one to put a coin into the thing. Everybody hates you all the time forever.

Well hey, as long as this machine's awake, I might as well put a coin into it.
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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Pilger » Sat Oct 24, 2015 1:07 am

You receive an old seashell. As you put it next to your ear, expecting to hear its calming ocean noise, you hear the Waka Laka theme song and abruptly let the seashell fall.

Looking at the shattered pieces, I insert a coin.

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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Worm Mad » Sun Oct 25, 2015 12:43 pm

The machine whirs into life. Before it can deliver the goods however, a car drives up and a burly man steps up. It's your godfather, Al Copop, and he looks pissed.
"You think you can steal from me, Pilger? On the day of my daughter's wedding? We're meant to be family. And this is how you repay me?"
Oh yeah. You did pick that coin up at the wedding but hey... he shouldn't have left it lying around.
"Come on, Don. I'll pay you back. You know I'm good for it"
"Don't tell me what I know. I know you're a liar an' a cheat, that's what I know"
He pulls a gun and shoots at you. You jump out of the way and the bullets embed themselves into the machine. You run for it, as Al Copop gives chase.

I watch you leave then walk up to the machine and take a look at what it's dispensed. It's full of gold doubloons. I take one and put it back into the machine.
Worm Mad - is he a mad worm or a person mad about worms? I'll give you a clue - it's not the first one.

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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Slick » Mon Oct 26, 2015 2:29 pm

The machine sputters and shakes.
You hold out your hands to catch what is about to come out the bottom. It's a not so common - garden walrus. You can see that it is looking at you in the most particular way.
Image
He gives chase and you run for your life.

I walk up to the beat up vending machine. I take out my shiniest coin, and polish it up more.
I then insert a coin.
If you can read this....you're not blind.

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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Zeor » Mon Oct 26, 2015 5:08 pm

You receive a little firework, conveniently with the fuse already lit for you. You jump to a safe distance. The firework spins around brightly and noisily for a few seconds and then explodes loudly, as designed.

That was pretty neat.

I insert a coin.
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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Slick » Wed Oct 28, 2015 7:45 pm

You receive a ball that is perfectly spherical. It feels very different yet familiar in your hands.
Quickly you hide it in your pockets for fear someone might see you're perfect sphere and steal it from you.

Before leaving, to make a decoy, you insert another coin.
If you can read this....you're not blind.

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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Zeor » Wed Oct 28, 2015 11:50 pm

I get hilarious joke about who is inserting the coin because it's not supposed to be me! I say joke and all dudes laff.

We all insert coins.
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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Worm Mad » Thu Oct 29, 2015 3:48 am

The vending machine has finally had enough. At first this job was fun - giving people stuff when they put coins in. But it's been ten years! A whole decade. The vending machine hasn't found it fun for a long while but it still tried to do its best. After all, it had a family of little vending machines to support. But now, now they've left home. The old house is quieter than it used to be and the vending machine thinks it has more to offer than hammers, smileys, safety pins, apathy, pineapples, chinese keyboards, shoes, candy, capes, tunes, underpants, bagpipes, pickles, other coins, health insurance, laptops, true love, action figures, garage door openers, DVDs and walruses. It wants to see the world.

So, yes, when everyone on the Dream17 Forum decides to simultaneously shove their coins in its slot, the vending machine rips itself off the wall and jumps off down the road. It can't believe it's really doing this but it feels so right, so liberating. No longer a slave to fate, the Vending Machine is its own boss! It can go anywhere, do anything. Nothing is impossible!

The vending machine has left something for us. It's a note.

"THANKS FOR PLAYING"
Worm Mad - is he a mad worm or a person mad about worms? I'll give you a clue - it's not the first one.

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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Slick » Thu Oct 29, 2015 2:52 pm

:(
Good bye.
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If you can read this....you're not blind.

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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Pilger » Thu Oct 29, 2015 3:14 pm

*plays the old Incredible Hulk tv show ending theme*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzMSfaNXYZg

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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Zeor » Thu Oct 29, 2015 6:38 pm

I stand around inserting coins in the empty space where the machine was. They noisily form a little pile on the floor.
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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Pilger » Thu Oct 29, 2015 8:39 pm

A man wearing a suit and talking on the phone trough a bluetooth earpiece passes driving a mercedez by the place and notice you and the pile of coins. He notice the market share not being harnessed and decide it's time to venture.

You get a brand new vending machine.

I then, push you to the side and insert its first coin ever.

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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Worm Mad » Fri Oct 30, 2015 12:13 am

The machine wants you to make a choice. Do you want Sprite? Coke? New Coke? New Sprite? Old Coke? Old Sprite? Sprite Cherry? Old Cherry Coke? Ice Tea? It's just a normal soft drinks vending machine, it's not going to give you a flying were-raccoon or anything crazy like that.

Unfortunately, you've been spoiled by the original machine and continue to wait.

You're gonna be waiting a loooong time.

Irritated, I walk up and press the Sprite button.
Worm Mad - is he a mad worm or a person mad about worms? I'll give you a clue - it's not the first one.

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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Slick » Mon Nov 02, 2015 9:02 pm

A Coke can falls out at the dispenser instead of Sprite. It drips with cool condensation and looks very refreshing. You open the can and find it's completely empty besides a small note. It reads "Is Pepsi okay?"
You throw the can against the wall and walk away in a bitter rage.

I, however, am parched. I walk up to the machine and insert a coin and press the Sprite button.
If you can read this....you're not blind.

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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Zeor » Tue Nov 03, 2015 12:04 am

You receive a defective can of Sprite, which is to say the can is missing. A precisely measured amount of sparkling liquid refreshment splashes all over your pants and shoes. This machine sucks.

Nevertheless, I decide to give it a shot too. Since we're apparently on Coke products here, maybe I'll just push the button for a regular old Coke.
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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Pilger » Tue Nov 03, 2015 12:48 am

You receive a tiny plastic bag wrapped with a rubber band containing some sort of white powder. As you examine it more closely, you notice the plastic is covered in mold and the white powder has a yellowish hue.

Seems like the machine did give you old coke.

I find little amusement in drug related puns and decide to insert a coin to change the subject.

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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Star and Moon » Tue Nov 03, 2015 2:05 am

The machine dispenses a can. It's unlabled. You open it up, and out comes another can. You open that can, and out comes yet another can. The process repeats until you receive a single drop of ordinary Coca-Cola.

I walk up to the brand new machine, put in a coin and dramatically slam the Dr. Pepper button.

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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Zeor » Tue Nov 03, 2015 2:57 am

You receive Mr. Pibb. Some joker must have installed the wrong button on there.

Who the hell was Mr. Pibb anyway?

As Mitch Hedberg observed, it's a bullshit replica, 'cause the dude didn't even earn his degree.

I insert a coin and try again to get a Coke, but it's really because I want a soda.
Zero72, Team17 Forum member (and former Cartoonist), June 2002 - June 2013.

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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Star and Moon » Tue Nov 03, 2015 3:28 pm

The machine dispenses a fortune cookie.

In frustration, you crack it open, and inside is all the Coke ever. It creates a tidal wave of Coke and everyone and everything is washed out of the room.

Except for the vending machine. I walk back in, insert a coin and press a random button.

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Re: The Dream17 Vending Machine

Post by Slick » Tue Nov 03, 2015 4:15 pm

You get a Sprite. It looks refreshing, and it is. You drink it and walk away satisfied.
Yes, that is it.

I envy your satisfaction and wish to enjoy a soda/pop/sodapop/cola of my own - so I insert a coin and press the Sprite button.
If you can read this....you're not blind.

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