The Dream17 Vending Machine

Sit yourselves down in here and have a chinwag about whatever takes your fancy.

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Squirminator2k
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Post by Squirminator2k » Thu Aug 04, 2005 8:49 pm

You receive an Assassin, who kills the Vending Machine. Another one is ordered from the manufacturer to take its place, but it's not the same. You've killed my only friend. And you will pay. You WILL pay...

*inserts a coin into the new machine*
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Alien King
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Post by Alien King » Thu Aug 04, 2005 10:51 pm

a mole worm comes out and gives you lots of money. you discover this mole worms name to be OldSkoolCrazy.

after having used the large set of capitalization and punctuation as toilet paper, i return to the vending machine to insert a coin.

i discover i have no coin, so i use a spare full stop that fell into my pocket from the large set of capitalization and punctuation and insert that into the machine.

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Squirminator2k
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Post by Squirminator2k » Fri Aug 05, 2005 12:33 am

You discover that Full Stops are, in fact, spherical as opposed to coin-like. You get nothing. You lose.

I insert yet another coin, because I'mn a greedy git.
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Post by FutureWorm » Fri Aug 05, 2005 2:26 am

Hillary Clinton jumps out from behind the machine and punches you in the face because you're a greedy git. Then she presses the coin return button, takes your coin, and, in truly hypocritical fashion, runs away.

I insert a coin.

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Alien King
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Post by Alien King » Fri Aug 05, 2005 12:16 pm

you recieve the first ever version of windows

you feel angry


after recovering from my loss of a full stop and recieving no prize, i find a capital O in my other pocket. this, unlike the full stop is round, not spherical.

i insert the capital O into the machine

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MonkeyforaHead
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Post by MonkeyforaHead » Fri Aug 05, 2005 10:43 pm

You receive Soldat version 1.3. You are ecstatic until you play it, upon which you feel cheated and betrayed. You slip into a depression for the rest of the day.

I insert a human ear.
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Zeor
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Post by Zeor » Fri Aug 05, 2005 11:53 pm

You also recieve Soldat 1.3. You are unable to escape from it. You go insane.

I insert a coin.
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Run
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Post by Run » Sat Aug 06, 2005 9:23 am

You recieve a restraining order. You are not allowed within 100 feet of the vending machine.

I insert a coin.
Hofstadter's Law: "It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law"

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Squirminator2k
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Post by Squirminator2k » Sat Aug 06, 2005 9:51 am

You receive a retraction of the appeal that ends "Oh, and Run smells." As it is legally binding, you find yourself with a nasty aroma for life. It slows drives you insane and one day you stab yourself to death. 30 times.

Oh look! A coin! And a Vending Machine! Well, I'd be daft not to, really...
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Pooka
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Post by Pooka » Sat Aug 06, 2005 12:03 pm

You've discovered the America Online disk graveyard, fabled as it is!

I insert a coin.
Superfrog: the best things in life are green.

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Alien King
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Post by Alien King » Sat Aug 06, 2005 5:14 pm

you recieve my full stop that i inserted a while ago. you are puzzled at how this became part of the pile of prizes, as it was inserted as a coin.

you leave the machine to think about it. however you walk into a lamp post because you weren't paying attention and end up in hospital unable to remember anything about your past.

i insert a toothpick

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Run
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Post by Run » Sat Aug 06, 2005 5:38 pm

You recieve a piece of food stuck in your teeth.

Oh, the irony!

I insert a coin.
Hofstadter's Law: "It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law"

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OldSkoolCrazy
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Post by OldSkoolCrazy » Sun Aug 07, 2005 1:05 am

You receive the last remaining pineapple. You try to preserve but someone eats it and pineapple are officially extinct forever.

Insert coin.
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Zeor
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Post by Zeor » Sun Aug 07, 2005 10:37 pm

You recieve a pineapple. Oh, those wacky pineapples, cheating even their own extinction! How INSANE!@~!#~@#$?~

I insert a coin.
Zero72, Team17 Forum member (and former Cartoonist), June 2002 - June 2013.

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KennyTornado
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Post by KennyTornado » Sun Aug 07, 2005 11:15 pm

You receive a parking fine for parking on the double yellow lines, so pay £500 or do 3 months of community service (which will be very smelly).

I try shoving a duck in the vending machine, but it was too big so I put in a BRONZE coin instead.
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Zeor
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Post by Zeor » Mon Aug 08, 2005 8:24 am

Just for something different, I insert a coin BEFORE a prize is dispensed for the previous coin inserter. The machine grows extremely confused and starts spitting AOL CDs everywhere. Many are injured. Among the CDs is KennyTornado's item: A cookie. Cookies are awesome.
Zero72, Team17 Forum member (and former Cartoonist), June 2002 - June 2013.

Zeor TV - [fart noise]!

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Alien King
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Post by Alien King » Mon Aug 08, 2005 12:24 pm

after realising that i couldn't say what Zero recieved, i inserted a coin

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Squirminator2k
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Post by Squirminator2k » Mon Aug 08, 2005 1:11 pm

You receive the coin Zero didn't insert. Your mind boggles.

I insert a coin
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Run
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Post by Run » Mon Aug 08, 2005 1:23 pm

You recieve a personal assistant, whose sole purpose is to insert coins for you.

I insert a coin.
Hofstadter's Law: "It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law"

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Pooka
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Post by Pooka » Mon Aug 08, 2005 6:29 pm

You receive Your Life. Now you don't have to Run for it any more.

Coinage!
Superfrog: the best things in life are green.

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