The Dream17 Vending Machine

Sit yourselves down in here and have a chinwag about whatever takes your fancy.

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Alien King
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Post by Alien King » Sun Jul 31, 2005 5:12 pm

you recieve a diagram of the universe. you gaze in wonder at the way the universe is shown. as you walk along staring at the diagram, you fall into a ditch and suffer a fatal head injury.

i insert something that i believe to be a coin, but has also been said to be a small minature discus used by mice

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Post by K^2 » Mon Aug 01, 2005 1:06 am

You recieve a real discus. You throw it and break a window of a local bank. Police arrests you for an attempted robery. Because of an un-talented attorney that is appointed to you, you end up in prison and spend there next 10 years of your life.

I insert 2 (two!) coins.
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Run
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Post by Run » Mon Aug 01, 2005 10:15 am

You recieve a large pile of sand. It gets in your shoes. You're in a bad mood for the rest of the week.

I insert a coin.
Hofstadter's Law: "It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law"

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Alien King
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Post by Alien King » Mon Aug 01, 2005 10:49 am

a jet of liquid nitrogen is shot out of the vending machine. you get covered in it and are frozen almost instantly

i come back 10 years later

i punch the vending machine

i then insert a coin

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OldSkoolCrazy
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Post by OldSkoolCrazy » Mon Aug 01, 2005 3:29 pm

You receive a Pepsi, but you wanted a Coke.

I insert a coin.
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Alien King
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Post by Alien King » Mon Aug 01, 2005 3:53 pm

a small teabag comes out. you look at it carefully. you use it to make a cup of tea

i insert a coin

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Post by Squirminator2k » Mon Aug 01, 2005 7:09 pm

You receive DEATH.

I am worried, but insert a coin anyway.
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Run
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Post by Run » Mon Aug 01, 2005 7:29 pm

You receive wasp repellent. Later, you regret tossing it in the garbage can.
Hofstadter's Law: "It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law"

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Post by Squirminator2k » Mon Aug 01, 2005 7:32 pm

That strikes me as rather silly - I've a phobia of Wasps, so I wouldn't throw the stuff away. I'd find it very useful.
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Run
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Post by Run » Mon Aug 01, 2005 7:54 pm

Well, it's a silly vending machine, so these things happen.

Anyway, I forgot to insert a coin - a mistake that I will remedy by inserting a coin.
Hofstadter's Law: "It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law"

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Zeor
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Post by Zeor » Mon Aug 01, 2005 8:20 pm

You recieve Elvis.

*inserts a waffle*
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OldSkoolCrazy
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Post by OldSkoolCrazy » Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:03 pm

You receive mapple syrup.

Insert coin.
Best Turnbased: Worms (whole series)
Best FPS: Half-Life (whole series)
Best 3rd Person Shooter: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Best Adventure: Uru: Ages Beyond Myst
Best RTS: Startcraft
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Alien King
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Post by Alien King » Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:44 pm

you recieve a small box

you open a box to discover a small black hole

you start to move towards it faster and faster, until the point where your body is broken apart by the gravitaitonal force


the vending machine remains however

i insert a coin

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Post by Run » Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:50 pm

You recieve a Distasteful Look.

I keep with tradition and insert a coin, like many generations before me.
Hofstadter's Law: "It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law"

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Post by K^2 » Tue Aug 02, 2005 2:13 am

You receive a safety pin. You manage to poke yourself with it anyways.

I insert a coin.
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Zeor
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Post by Zeor » Tue Aug 02, 2005 9:05 am

You recieve water vapor. Lucky you!

A coin is inserted by none other than one Mr. Zero72.
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Post by MonkeyforaHead » Tue Aug 02, 2005 10:01 am

You get a duplication device which, following popular speculation, is also capable of duplicating currency. Unfortunately, that was your last coin.

You return home where you duplicate all of your paper cash, your home entertainment system, your collection of rare 1938 baseball cards, and your wife. You retire to a mansion in the Bahamas, but are forever haunted by what other wonders the vending machine may have held. Looking back, you wonder why you did not simply make a duplicate of it to take home with you. The memory of this slowly eats away at you until you die at the age of 57 from a stroke while drinking wine and playing Tetris.

For lack of any coin-shaped objects, I insert a ferret.
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Zeor
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Post by Zeor » Tue Aug 02, 2005 10:08 am

You recieve the ferret back at a weapons-grade velocity. You recieve an extremely grave head wound. You survive for a few years, but you lack eyesight, smell and taste. Fortunately, the incident is well-documented by the Discovery Channel, so you die with a large amount of money. The money is donated to a charity, but is intercepted by a middle-eastern warlord.

I insert a quarter. Wait, that was that State quarter that I hadn't added to my collection yet. Shoot.
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Run
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Post by Run » Tue Aug 02, 2005 10:52 am

You recieve a quarter. Of a dog. You are traumatised. You develop a phobia of quarters.

I insert a coin.
Hofstadter's Law: "It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law"

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Post by Dr. Rock » Tue Aug 02, 2005 3:40 pm

You recieve an ordinary-looking pair of glasses. (If you have glasses, you take them off, then) you put them on. You look around you... every person you see, the right lens starts playing a video of their own death. You being to feel a deep-rooted sense of fear. You stumble around a bit, before you trip and they fly down a sewer, and wash away. You begin to live life with new enthusiasm, living each day to the fullest.

I put in a coin connected to a string, get my prize and pull on the string. The string snaps and I look at it, dissapointedly.

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